chapter 1

I was 18 when I seduced the boy next door—seven years older than me—and popped his cherry.

One night, under the haze of too much alcohol and emotions running wild, I poured my heart out to him, whispering my love over and over again beneath the sheets.

At the peak of our passion, Christian Strain leaned close, voice low and hoarse, and murmured against my ear, "Damn, I guess I fell for you again, huh?"

The word "again" ... I didn't think much of it then.

After that, everything unfolded naturally—we started dating and got married not long after that.

For ten years, he treated me like I was his whole world, treasuring me like his queen.

Until one day, I opened a drawer in his study and found a photograph—of a woman who looked strikingly like me.

That's when it hit me. From the beginning, I was just a stand-in.

I didn't cry. Didn't scream. I quietly went to the hospital and ended the pregnancy we'd both been waiting for.

Then I packed my suitcase and caught a red-eye flight out of Flerora.

...

The divorce papers arrived just as Christian walked through the front door.

Panic flashed through me.

I instinctively placed the papers on the table, trying to act natural.

Before I could even turn around, his arms wrapped around me from behind.

He buried his face in the crook of my neck, nuzzling gently, his hand resting warmly on my stomach.

"How's our little one been while I was away?" he asked, his voice soft and warm.

I froze.

A bitter smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.

Little one?

There was no baby anymore.

I didn't answer his question. Instead, I quietly pulled away and changed the subject.

"You said you'd bring me a gift when you came back from your trip. So, where is it?"

A flicker of panic crossed his face. "I ... uh ... "

I couldn't help but smile bitterly—as if I didn't already know the truth.

I already knew the truth. And yet, I still played along, asking questions I didn't need answers to—what a pathetic way to humiliate myself.

His so-called business trip had been nothing but a cover.

He'd spent every single day with Adeline Wilde—his first love.

Christian thought he'd done a good job hiding it. But what he didn't know was that she had already flaunted their affair right in my face.

Just two days ago, she sent me 99 scandalous photos.

Each one with a different posture.

And the man in those photos? The very same one now standing in front of me—the man I'd loved for years.

I hadn't hesitated for a moment. I went straight to the hospital that day and ended the pregnancy we had so longed for.

A child who's no longer wanted should never be brought into this world.

The thought tightened the ice already forming around my heart.

I opened the divorce papers again, covering the contents and pointing to the signature line.

"Christian."

He looked up sharply, locking eyes with me.

Of course he was startled. In all our years together, I'd only ever called him "Honey" or "Babe."

Only when I was angry did I ever use his name.

His voice was flustered, uncertain.

"Hey, sweetheart, don't be mad. I just got caught up with work, that's all. I'll make it up to you tonight. Whatever you want—stars, moon—I'll get them for you."

"I'm not angry," I said calmly. "This is the gift I want. Just sign it."

He let out a sigh of relief, like a burden had been lifted, and quickly scribbled his name.

I paused, staring blankly for a second, then tucked the papers away.

"You didn't even read it," I said. "What if I made you sign something that'd leave you with nothing?"

"I don't mind," he said with that same effortless smile. "As long as you're with me, nothing else matters."

He reached out, trying to pat my head like he always did when coaxing me.

But this time, I stepped away.

His hand hung there awkwardly in the air.

"Maia ... "

He barely got my name out before a high-pitched, syrupy ringtone pierced the air.

"Pick up the phone, darling! Hurry up and pick up the phone!"

He snatched his hand back and shot a glance at me, scrambling to silence the call.

He hung up quickly, but not before I caught a glimpse of the contact name: Adeline.

"That ringtone—it's not from me. I mean, it's just this client; she's really tough to deal with. Sets that ringtone for everyone," he explained, his voice trying desperately to sound casual.

What a clumsy excuse.

But I didn't even have the energy to question it anymore.

Seeing my blank expression, he grabbed my hand without warning. "Let's go out tonight. I made a reservation—it's a great place, you'll love it."

I didn't say anything.

And right then, his phone lit up again.

Christian's face changed instantly.

He let go of me and turned to leave, his steps rushed and uneven.

Christian had barely made it two strides before he remembered I was still standing there.

He turned back, his tone urgent now.

"Maia, something just came up at work. It's really serious. I might not be home tonight. Please eat something and take care of yourself.

"I'll be back soon."

And with that, he was gone—no hesitation, no second glance.

I watched his back disappear, and my heart clenched until I could barely breathe.

Then, a sharp pain curled through my abdomen, relentless and cold.

I broke into a sweat, collapsing to the floor in a crouch, my whole body trembling.

Tears stung my eyes.

Baby ... are you mad?

But bringing you into this world ... would've been the most irresponsible thing I could've done.